那天给姐姐打电话，生气怪她一直不理睬我，不关心我，不上网也不回短信。电话那头很吵，应该是在街头接的，但我能听出她的疲惫与焦急。姐姐说她很忙，忙自己的婚事，忙的昏天黑地的了，没人能够帮助她，只能靠自己，觉得她自己一下长大了十岁，还说刚刚哭了一场。不知道事情都已严重到这个地步了，忙问她为什么，她告诉我说爷爷生病了，哥哥说应该是脑子的问题，又说很怕是身体的问题，可能是高血压之类的。

后来姐姐又说什么我已经听不清了，意识因突如其来的打击变的模糊。一片空白中只能感受到强烈的恐慌，眼泪立刻涌了出来，措手不及。我怎么也不敢相信那天在电话那头还和我聊天问我什么时候回家的爷爷会病了，而且病的不轻。因为我知道生场重病对于一个年过90的老人来说可能意味着什么，不敢相信不敢想象。曾经不止一次的为此感到过恐惧，第一次强烈感受到是在初中的时候，在作文书中读到一篇写给自己奶奶的散文，当时就害怕的落泪了。想起自己曾经经历的种种，仍然是心有余悸，那些深爱着我们也被我们深爱着的人，一夜之间就消失在这个世界，只剩下记忆的片断，可仅有这些苍白的片断怎么够。那时还小，很多都不懂，不知道疼痛，现在长大了，恐惧和疼痛来的更加的真切。虽然我知道所有的一切都是必然，生老病死乃恒古不变的定例，岂能因为我们心中强烈的愿望就改变。想想人是多么的渺小，不管有多爱，有多不舍也是徒然。

姐姐听出我哭了，忙安慰我，让我不要担心，说担心也没用，我能做的就是照顾好自己，可千万别出什么事，我平安了家里才会放心。感觉好酸楚，我能为他们做什么，除了干着急，我能为他们做什么呢？在家人最需要帮助的时候我却只能袖手旁观，我只能是照顾好自己来减少他们的担忧，可作为一个女儿，一个孙女，一个妹妹，我应该做的不止这些吧！姐姐让我不要给家里提到这件事，因为爸爸怕我担心不让她告诉我爷爷的事，我能体会他们的苦衷。

我给家里挂了个电话，刚开始接通时是个妇女的声音，她告诉我我打错电话了。我不得不再拨一次，是个疲惫的男声，如此陌生，我无奈了，难道我再次拨错？说了句对不起准备挂电话，突然那边问：是莲莲吗？竟然是爸爸，更让我吃惊的是刚才正是妈妈接的电话，天啊！我竟然连父母的声音都没听出来，以前不是这样的啊，难道是我的耳朵欺骗了我，还是最近的劳累使得他们声音都如此沉重，我的嗓子突然就哽咽了。随便说了些家常，努力不让他们察觉我的异样。小心翼翼的问起爷爷的情况，还要装作什么都不知道的样子，父母也只是轻描淡写的说身体不太舒服，现在好多了之类的话。眼泪已经不听使唤的出来了，还是要用轻松的口气让父母保重身体，不要牵挂，女儿过的很好，真的很好，一切一切都很顺利，马上就回来看你们了。挂断电话，悲伤的心情还是继续着。

已是快晚上十点了，一个人走在回家的路上，想想这些离家的日子，自己做饭，自己看电视，自己洗衣服收拾房间，自己判别什么是对什么是错，成熟了不少，也学会了很多，没有亲人的呵护反而变的坚强。追寻着自己想要的梦想，自己想要的生活。受伤脆弱的时候想起遥远的家，想着要是他们在身边就好了，就算他们不能为我做什么，但回到家就知道你不是一个人在这社会上，就有了安全感。可很多事都由不得我，看看回家的车票，接近400块，多么遥远的距离！

今天爸爸在网上告诉我爷爷的病好了，原来是因为用药不当引起的。给爷爷挂了个电话，听他在那头精神十足的告诉我不要担心，他的病已经完全好了，心才踏实下来。好开心，一切担忧都会过去的。爸爸对我说：女儿在外，要事事时时谨慎。有些事爸爸又不能帮助，主要要你的能力去解决。爸爸有时好想女儿啊。

My mother

In my opinion, everybody have a complex feeling about his mother.

I often can’t find suitable words to describe my mother. She is so similar to me that make me difficult to give her an exact definition.

As a woman, she is common, but I know, as a mother, she is great.

Sometimes mother is strong, just like a stone. Whenever her family meet difficult, whenever we feel depressed, she is always the strongest one in our family, tell us don’t be afraid, don’t be nervous, encourage us to over come it. Maybe you never know what the source of her courage is, and can’t image how brave she is.

However, sometimes, she is very frail. She is so easy to be hurt by her husband and her daughters whose she believes are the most important person in her life. A little thing will let her heart break.

Once or twice, I think she is a pitiful woman. The more she wants to close to us, the more we want to escape. Her deep love make us feel heavy, occasionally, even can’t breathe freely. We are afraid to let her down, we are afraid to hurt her sensitive heart. So we choose disregard her love or escape. Mama, please forgive our mistake though I know it have deeply injured you.

It is impossible for me to forget the scene that my mother and I drank pearl-milk tea at the bench in my campus. She told me she liked it very much, it is so delicious. Every time when I recall it, I can’t help to wanting to cry. She is a so sample mother. Only a pearl-milk tea can satisfy her. Her happiness is too easy to image.     

At that time I promised her that I would buy pearl-milk tea for her as long as she visited me every time. But now it is hard for me to realize my word. There are long distances between us, from Shijiazhuang to Chengdu, 23 hours by train, except give her a safe call, what can l do for her.

If I have chance to go back to her again, I swear that I will talk with her, walk with her ,go shopping with her, exchange our secret. Always stand by her side and give her encourage, protection and tolerance which she gives me without any reservation all the time.

Please cherish mother’s love. Maybe they are nagging because they lavish us with attention. They are strict to us because they hope their babies have a more beautiful future.

       I know she needs me just like I need her.